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And it's cute. Much with the cute.

18.05.03 (00.50)

Oh, it was a good day, I think I'm a bit sunburned even. It was our independence day, and you know how it goes, all good fun, too many people, but this year it was OK, there was so much happiness with it. Even if I was wearing pantyhose from hell... Seemed inappropriate to say "fuck it all" and start tugging on them in public. Am never wearing pantyhose again. Had to because going without anything else would be cold... Except that it was 15 degrees and warm outside. So nice:>

And then there's this thing I neglected to tell you about, because sometimes I don't know how to phrase it so I don't sound so silly and stupid and like such a girl. And it's nothing big, but all my friends keep wanting to make it something large, and just... One would think we were over the 14 year old mindset thing. Because there's this girl. And there's a lot of fucked-upness within it all (because somewhere along the line in my previous life, I've been molesting children in order to have karma as bad as this, I'm certain of it), but then it's not so important as the "there's this girl" part. Which is cute. And not really going anywhere, other than that she's very pretty, and I quite liked talking to her, and her taste in music isn't half bad. There are some cons to it all. Quite a lot of them, but those are less important. I don't want to focus on them until I know if I have more than a snowball's chance in hell of anything really happening.

I also, in the course of spending too much time thinking about this, realised that it really is my own fault that I don't have a girlfriend. Because I have to go out and atleast semi-actively look for lesbian girls in order for me to find someone I can kiss. What is the saddest part of all is that it actually took a lot of thought for this to appear to me. Yes, I am approaching twenty (with only 3 or so days to go), but somewhere along the line, I never quite learned that while 1 + 1 makes 2 and 2 + 2 makes 4, taking the original 2 and adding on the second 4 leads up to 6. So while things make perfect sense seperatly, it takes me a while to realise that they actually fit together as well.

Such as this easter, when I saw a poster for an ice-fishing competition. I'd also thought to myself that the ice wasn't looking really safe any longer. But it took me half an hour - and seeing people on the ice, and then thinking to myself "oooh, that doesn't look too safe" - to put the two together to realise that in my head, an ice fishing contest at that time of year would be a bad thing. It's sad really.

But then, it's all mostly cute. And I found this entry I wrote ages ago. Here. I remembered writing it, but I mostly looked at it as a silly thing that was very me, ala 2000, just putting too much into it all. And then I read it, and it. Well, it isn't half as bad as a lot of other stuff I've posted. It makes me feel silly, yes, but in a different way than I remembered. It works, you know, as an entry. As a very different approach as to who I am, for sure, because we all know I am not all about the sex (hehe, truer words have never been spoken), but this second part of me that isn't very well-examined and doesn't really need to be, but that enjoys airing out every once in a while.

Music of the moment: Just about anything iTunes will hand me.
Favorite? there's a whole lotta love for Grrr and TH and most anyone who wants it.

S-K ©Milkshake n' honey